I can't think of a better way to kill another soul-deadening day at the office than compiling a Hate list with the co-founder of Horny Gandhi
I'm pleased to present "50 Things We Hate"* compiled by Ben and Nayiri.
1. Sweaty feet.
2. Improper use of your/you're, its/it's, their/there/they're, etc.
3. Mustard yellow.
5. Periods, commas, etc. outside of the end-quote. If you're a Brit,we'll let it slide. Not in America, yo.
6. Being forced to touch the bathroom door after washing your hands.
7. Bathroom doors that require you to touch them after washing your hands ( i.e. doors with stupid handles, or doors in bathrooms that
only have air dryers and no towels)
8. People who say "I like every kind of music except country."
9. Dave Eggers.
10. "Family Guy"
11. People who quote "Family Guy"
12. Things that are sticky (jamhands, breakfast menus covered in maple syrup, etc.)
13. Slow pedestrians who take up the entire sidewalk.
14. Coconut, a.k.a cuticle.
15. John Travolta and Kelly Preston.
16. Hives. (The malady, not the band.)
17. Stetson cologne.
19. People who are proudly tech-ignorant.
20. Hot cauliflower.
21. Lipstick marks on glasses, mugs, straws, and other miscellaneous beverage-related items.
23. Chapped lips.
24. Face marks on windows, i.e. from where an airplane passenger rested his or her head whilst sleeping/watching the in-flight movie.
25. Coral-colored nail polish, particularly on toes.
26. Misuse of the transitional "Anyway" as "Anyways."
27. Excessive regional pride.
28. Dirty laundromats.
29. The statement "I'm not really religious, I'm spiritual."
30. The phrase "Post 9/11."
31. Men with long fingernails who aren't transvestites, drag queens, etc.
32. People who call California "Cali," Atlantic City "AC," San Francisco "SF," etc.
34. Poor spellers who have no excuse for being poor spellers.
35. Foot draggers, especially foot draggers in flip-flops.
36. Weak handshakes.
37. Sloppy diction.
38. Road Rules/Real World challenge(s).
39. Jay Leno.
40. People who yell out "Free Bird!" during a lull at a concert.
41. Cat people.
43. Picky eaters, specifically when they are adults.
44. Women who can't walk in their shoes.
45. People who say "fudgeicle" instead of "fudgesicle."
47. Jean shorts.
50. Waiting four months for Season 3 of "Lost."
* = I guess I should put a slight caveat in place. Some of these are more personal than others. For instance, I'm personally okay with VPL, coral nail polish, and Beyoncé-- especially when they're all part of one intoxicating blend.