Thursday, December 08, 2005

Update.

I'm currently vetting Christmas Card List number 5 of 7.
Sigh.
Why couldn't my work place be more like the South Park production office? (Right now the McRib challenge sounds like a nice break from this bullshit.)
R. Emmett Sibley, Production Assistant:
This is the last night of production for South Park. I could tell you about the wacky antics of the week or reminisce about the run but honestly who cares. I sure as hell don't. The only thing I do care about is:

THE MCRIBB CHALLENGE.

PA "The Notorious Nasty" Nate has been offered $1000 to eat 6 McRibbs, drink 1 Venti Egg Nog Latte and 1 Venti Peppermint Latte. He has to do this in 30 minutes and must keep it down for 1 hour.

Factors to consider:

1. This is a lot of food. I don't have the stats in front of me but it's somewhere in the ball park of 3000 calories and 300 grams of fat.
2. This is going to be done at a fancy Hollywood restaurant (so fancy Ashton Kutcher owns it, you know what that means, trucker hats and 43 year old women with 3 kids, you're a lucky man Ashton....instant family)
3. Nate will be dressed up in a suit and tie. Not the usual Jack Boots and nipple shirt that reads "A Man's Man."
4. PAs are desperate for money. Desperation and eating contest don't mix well. Now with gluttony and self loathing... you are in business.
5. Medical bills must be payed if Nate has a heart attack or medical problems. It would be nice if Matt and Trey would accompany Nate to the hospital, hold his hand and get him ice chips. "You are going to be ok sweetheart....you are going to be ok."

That makes me miss college. (Even though my college experience was nothing like that.)

2 Comments:

At 10:41 AM, Blogger Tim said...

I once watched a guy fulfill a challenge to drink a gallon of milk and eat an entire loaf of potato bread in about that same time frame. Polaroids were taken. Sadly, I'm not in possession of any of them. Oh, and, yeah, he puked.

 
At 10:51 AM, Blogger Dashiell said...

We had a Philipe's french dip contest here in the office. the bet was between two assistants - the female in the contest had to eat 4 french dips in 36 minutes and keep them down for an hour. She got through three and a half but stalled and could not finish in the given time frame. she then ran to the ladie's room and puked. She had to wear a wonder woman costume for an entire day. The male would have had to wear a hamburger suit on all day including runs for writers.

 

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