Tuesday, July 20, 2004

2 + 2 = 5

1) The following excerpt from "Girlie-Men Unite!" (posted on Fagistan).

Josh takes Arnold on (and takes Maria down in the process). Funny as hell.

"Arnold, isn't it at least a little girlie to make your living by oiling up your body and acting like a female Soviet weightlifter turned stripper? We all saw those photos of you from the 70s. You were just one moustache shy of the Village People, dude. Bruce Villanch was butcher than you. You had to marry a horse-faced half-Kennedy who I'm pretty sure has undescended testes. You probably unleashed all those ass-grabbing rumors just to cover up your molestation of Danny DeVito on the set of Twins. You're definitely the faggiest Republican since Dan Quayle, and that includes Orrin Hatch and Steve Forbes. So don't think you can call me a girlie man and get away with it, Mr. Fake n' Bake. I've got your fuckin' number."

2) "Bird Woman" animation test.

Thanks to FleshBot, I was able to experience the joy that is watching the "beta test version of AM2004's new dynamic bone" animation program.
Of course, these animators couldn't just test the program with, oh, a photo-realistic version of some anonymous woman walking. They had to make her a big-boobied half-bird warrior. And the inter-web is a better place for it. This is what she looks like:



You can watch this breathtaking piece of art here.

3) Identity Theory Interviews.

Robert Birnbaum is one well-read motherfucker.
He puts his booksmarts to use in a series of interviews posted at Identity Theory. His list of interviewees is a who's who of writers that I love and/or respect: Martin Amis, TC Boyle, Jonathan Safran Foer, James Ellroy, Christopher Hitchens (twice!), Anthony Lane, Barbara Eherenrich, Chip Kidd, Andre Dubus III, Barry Gifford, Dorothy Allison, David Thomson, Donna Tartt, Sarah Vowell, Richard Russo, Susan Orlean and Ethan Hawke. Read up, kids.

4) Excerpt from Chuck Klosterman's essay "Toby Over Moby." (From the collection Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs.)

I know, I posted something from Mr. Klosterman two weeks ago. Eat it. He's rad. Here's another excerpt that I loved:

Contrary to what you may have heard from Henry Rollins or/and Ian MacKaye and/or anyone who has joined a band after working in an ice cream shop, you can't really learn much about a person based on what kind of music they happen to like. As a personality test, it doesn't work even half the time. However, there is at least one thing you can learn: The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music "except country music." People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time. All it means is they've managed to figure out the most rudimentary rule of pop sociology; they know that hipsters gague the coolness of others by their espoused taste in sound, and they know that hipsters hate modern country music. And they hate it because it speaks to normal people in a tangible, rational manner. Hipsters hate it because they hate Midwesterners, and they hate Southerners, and they hate people with real jobs.

Amen.

5) "Black Cherry (M83 Remix)" by Goldfrapp.


The original version of the song is all warm synth washes and cooing vocals. M83 gets its crazy frog hands on it and freeze dries it into a moody piece that's the aural equivalent of a chilly European night.

1 Comments:

At 3:13 PM, Blogger Dashiell said...

I have to take exception to the number 4 spot on your list. Modern country music is horrendous. I don't care if it came out of NYC or LA or Manchester. It is poor music because it is overly simplified, uninteresting, and ultimately unentertaining. I think Klosterman, by saying that, is trying to one up the hipsters (and usually i'm all for it, but by doing it with modern country is just not the way). Does he go on to explain WHY modern country is something of enduring quality or is it just a statement? If he does indeed defend it, I'd like to read that part.

And even as much as I hate modern country, I'd probably still like to listen to it over fucking Moby.

 

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