It's worse than I thought.

Fear not, Tom, I am here to the rescue.

I never thought that Shamalamadingdong would create a movie that would make me pine for the action and wit of Signs. I was wrong. The Village did just that. I'm too worn out to really get into it at this time, but this is my hope... Someone out there will see this message and will believe it and will save themselves two hours of their life and $7 - 14.

I tried to trick myself into wanting to see this sham. Wrong move. Wrong move. Don't you fall for it.