Sterritt's going to critic hell for that one.

David Sterritt, what happened? You're a real film critic, not some asshole blurb-whore like Larry King or ABC Radio News. So what is up with your review of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events? Obvs, a true blurb-whore would be outrageously positive (like when Larry King calls Phantom of the Opera one of the greatest films of all time) and your blurb is negative. But it's the wretched soundbite quality of it with three--yes, three--butt-clenchingly bad puns that puts you in King country.

Feast upon the offending blurb:
"I hate to sound per-Snickety, but this lemon of a movie is a sadly unfortunate event."

Oh Davey. Dude, you're dead to me for that one.