Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Er, no.

Defamer ran a piece today on a writer "situated at the intersection of 'writerly desperation' and 'too much money lying around.'" Yes, indeed, the poor schlub is posting billboards on Sunset Blvd. telling NBC that he's written something called "Hawgs" and signing it with his website (jaythewriter.com).

As you can imagine, it's not pretty.
"Hawgs" turns out to be a "sitcom treatment" about Jesse Ballou "a young Dallas lawyer-lady…who hates practicing law, loves motorcycles… [snip] It’s like Taxi, but set in a funky Harley shop. Super contemporary." Yeah.

I'm more interested in his feature Whackers (it's a "farce comedy, 97 pages.") Here's the whole summary: "'Did you ever have a day when you just don’t feel like killing anyone?' Isn’t that a neat opening line of dialogue? Trailer moment. A goofy New York family starts a business whacking for other people…kind of a temp agency for when your hit man calls in sick. And the competition is murder.
Feature: The ghosts of Al Capone, Dutch Schultz and Pretty Boy Floyd."

You know, I'm often caught in a jam when my contract killer just can't make it 'cause he's got the flu or he's stuck in traffic 'cause Laurel Canyon is still flooded. It sure would be handy to have that killer temp agency.


At 4:04 AM, Blogger Joshua said...

My fave is 17 Mile Drive:
CIA Agent Susan Cordero is losing her mind over the boy she killed in the Bolivian jungle while she was rescuing a U.S. Senator she just knows is dirty. Now she has to rescue her sanity, and that means bringing down the most powerful man in America, who's now a disciple of a jungle voodoo cult, and about to become President.
Feature: Smart, tough female protagonist, does it without karate and cleavage.

Really, there's nothing like the kind of lazy racism that thinks "voodoo" comes from Bolivia. Also, I love his PS at the very bottom of the site: "I'm somewhat flexible on the whole no cleavage thing."


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