Like Chik-Fil-A on Sunday.

Has anyone else been watching American Idol 4? People, this is the super best time. Normally, the early stage of the competition is filled with tardems and untalented theater queens. This season it's filled with unhinged and brain damaged people. It's evil, but (sorry to say) hilarious.
On last night's episode we were introduced to Adam and Dirk, two hopefuls who had never met prior to waiting in line, but who were now best buds. Unfortunately, they looked like... well... not pop stars. At all. Maybe Dairy Queen and/or Suncoast* employees, but not pop idols. (For Christ's sake, Dirk admitted he was obsessed with Baywatch because of David Hasselhoff and then auditioned with a Hasselhoff original.) Anyway, Television Without Pity was really smitten with Adam and their aria to his greatness is too wonderful not to reprint:

But Adam Pratt? I truly, madly, deeply love [him]. I love him like a crazy person in the desert who desperately needs water and hallucinates a Deja Blue vending machine. I love him like Taco Bell, like Chik-Fil-A on a Sunday. I love him like that weird Spelling Bee girl that coughed a lot. I love him like Buffy. That’s all, it’s that simple, and I don’t want to talk about it further. I don’t want to sully it. He’s a boy, and he’s my friend, and that’s enough for me.

*=As a former Suncoast employee, I am allowed to mock.