Friday, July 29, 2005

You can tell he's a star from the Ultrasound.

I can't abide by Nick Cannon.
Granted, I've seen him in next to nothing (people swear by Drumline, so maybe one day... Oh, who am I kidding?) making my hatred of him kindasorta unfair. But every trailer I see him in (Underclassman anyone?), every promo (that new MTV show looks wretched), every interview, even thinking of his music career... bland, corny, worst.
What, then, to make of this thread, found on the I Love Music board: So Nick Cannon's new song consists of the full-grown ghost of his potential self singing to his mom, asking her not to abort him?
Yes Kids, he has written a song where "Ghost Nick" watches as his Mom almost aborts him. Somebody just beat R. Kelly for the craziest urban operetta of Summer '05. Check out this bit of goodness:
You see me in your sleep so you cant kill your dreams
300 Dollars that's the price of living what?
Mommy I don't like this clinic
Hopefully you'll make the right decision
And don't go through with the Knife incision
But it's hard to make the right move
When you in high school
How you have to work all day and take night school
Hopping off da bus when the rain is pouring
What you want morning sickness or the sickness of mourning

That's a bulk of verse one and verse two, understandably, pales in comparison. It does, however, contain this bit of greatness:
Your friends will look at you funny but look at you mommy
That's a life inside you look at your tummy
What is becoming ma I am Oprah bound
You can tell he's a star from the Ultrasound

Got that, guys? Aborting this child would be wrong 'cause he's going on Oprah! A reason to live! Don't do it, Ma! (I also love that someone on I Love Music points out that Ghost Nick is giving this spiel to Mom in 1980. She's not going to know who Oprah is. Better start working on an alternate argument.)
Can I really keep hating someone who is so earnest, vulgar, shameless, opportunistic and hilariously misguided? I guess my verdict will have to wait until I actually hear the track.


At 3:50 PM, Blogger Tim said...

The only person I hate more than Nick Cannon is Nick Cannon's mother for not aborting him.

At 4:37 PM, Blogger Dashiell said...

i love drumline!

At 6:23 PM, Blogger Joshua said...

In USAT Cannon insists that the song should not be heard as a political statement, since it is meant only to convey his own pre-birth experience and to thank his mother for not aborting him. "I'm not pro-choice or pro-life, I'm pro-Nick."


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