Saturday, October 15, 2005

Boner (Clearing up some questions surrounding Elizabethtown).

  • Yes, Elizabethtown is that bad.
  • No, Kiki is not wretched (despite all those trailers and TV spots that seem to indicate that she is).
  • Yes, Orlando Bloom is the worst actor currently getting A-list work. (People, we are talking sub-high school musical acting here. It's... I'll just leave it at painfully amateur.)
  • Yes, Judy Greer is still best.
  • Yes, Mr. Crowe's script is nothing but mawkish cliche after mawkish cliche.
  • Yes, even after a really awful Cameron Crowe movie, I still want to go home and make a mixtape CD.
  • Yes, the infamous Susan Sarandon stand-up routine/tap dance is that bad. And, yes, the big punchline in her routine does contain the word "boner."
  • No, that is not funny.
  • Finally, head over to the Obsolete Vernacular for a more expressive review.

5 Comments:

At 9:32 AM, Blogger Joshua said...

Doesn't "mawkish cliche" sum up every single fucking Cameron Crowe movie? He's a sentimental asshole.

 
At 9:56 AM, Blogger Ben said...

Joshua, you're not helping me here.

For the past couple of years, I've been trying to ward off that creeping suspicion that those Crowe films I loved as a teenager are, well, not all that great. (Don't make me say "bad" or "shitty" or "sucky," etc.)

Sometimes I think Crowe's sentimentalism works. In Elizabethtown it's a disaster.

 
At 2:13 PM, Blogger Joshua said...

Sentimentalism never works. It is the enemy of greatness. And Crowe is the master of it. And his best movie, Almost Famous, is also nostalgic on top of it all. Sucky, indeed.

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger Tim said...

As much as my display of facial contortions (in my effort to pull my lip over my head and hide myself from more of the movie), I can't help but think that it would be impossible to do anything remotely accurate in the same vein to express how I felt about Domino without seriously injuring myself.

 
At 12:14 PM, Blogger Paul said...

"No that is not funny" Holy crap that's hilarious! Yea, I only actually saw the first 10 minutes of it, but that's all I needed to see in order to concur with you.

 

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