Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Film crit/quote/rant of the day.

"Mickey Kaus (whose genes, presumably, don't want him to get a colonoscopy either) restates his aversion to cinema that might make his muff-loving sensibilities uncomfortable with the “wild hypothesis is that more people will go see a movie if it features an actor or actress they find attractive! If heterosexual men in heartland America don't flock to see Brokeback Mountain it's not because they're bigoted. It's because they're heterosexual.” Kaus goes on to claim that Brokeback Mountain “is a gay movie” based on the fact that, well, a gay guy took pleasure from it. First of all, there's no such thing as a gay movie, unless that movie has an apartment in Chelsea where it spends its time working out and sucking other movies' dicks.
Secondly, didn't a bunch of people flock to see that chick boxing movie? You know, the one that won Best Picture last year? Were they attracted to the two geriatrics or the chick who played the chick playing the dude in Boys Don't Cry, a film which we're guessing gave Mickey the same unpleasant feelings in his (twat-adoring) nether regions. In any event, Kaus is no more an expert on film than he is on anything else outside welfare reform and the 1993 Cutlass Cierra. The whole point of his post is to a) make himself feel better (and, it goes without saying, bolster his reputation as a guy who just loves vaginas) for having problems with a couple of homo cowboys, and b) tell the people who don't have those problems that they're the ones who are out of touch with the (pussy-pounding) general public. And maybe he's right. But he hasn't made the case. It's not enough to criticize a movie by saying it's based on ass-fucking. You have to say whether the ass is gently lubricated or roughly fissured."

--The Minor Fall, The Major Best Ever.


At 11:49 PM, Blogger Joshua said...

That Kaus post made me superpissed too. BUT in his defense, the part about the chick boxing movie is irrelevent. Kaus is talking about romance films and not any other genre. And hey, he'd never have had to write it in the first place if film critics haven't been insisting for weeks now that you can only possibly not like this moving if you bash queers' skulls in with a bat on Friday night.


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