Monday, December 06, 2004

Six years later.

Dear Gus Van Sant,

Well, it's been six years since you decided to do that whole shot-for-shot remake of Hitch's Psycho. I saw it in the theaters (mea culpa and stuff) and was dumbfounded. It was kind of shocking that, despite it being an exact facsimile, there was not a single second of quality in it.
I caught up with your film again over the weekend. By which I mean I Tivo'd it off the Sci-Fi channel and proceeded to fast forward through it in triple-speed. I still don't get it. At all. I mean you filled it with lots of talented actors (Anne Heche [despite being totally insane, she's quality, yo], the P.T. Anderson players, and, er, Rita Wilson) and got Chris Doyle to shoot it, but it is... D.O.A. (And it's not just the whole Vince Vaughn in drag thing. I mean, that's just the rancid icing on the poop-cake.)
Gus, I'd really appreciate an explanation, 'cause I am legitimately flummoxed. Your reasoning/answer can go in the comment section. Thanks.

Your friend,


PS: You also managed to fuck up my buddy The Thigh Master's senior year with that film (see comment section) . You may leave an apology for him after the explanation. Thank you.


At 4:55 PM, Blogger Thigh Master said...

i took a class on hitchock in my senior year of college thinking fo sho i'd get an e-z A since Hitch is my idol and messiah. For my big paper, i wrote a passionate rant on why gus' psycho blew grundle hair. i got a b+ on it and cause of that, got a b+ in the class. that was the only B i got that entire semester. if i got that A, that would have been the 1st time in my entire life that i got straight A's. i blame van sant for that too. what a fucker.


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