2 + 2 = 5.

1) Photos in the new Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue.

Man, this year's Hollywood Issue of Vanity Fair has The Guardian worked up into a lather over the cover ("This is Disempowerment as she is dressed by Versace... a homage to the blowjob values of 1950s Hollywood."). Er, yeah. Kate Winslet and Cate Blanchett pouting for the camera... end of the world. Shrug. I guess I'm part of the patriarchy. Personally, I'm just annoyed that VF did away with the "Film Snob Dictionary" section of the issue.
On a positive note: the portraits of the reunited Raging Bull cast, the "Cassavettes" reunion, and the people behind The Criterion Collection are most excellent.

2) Orson Bean in Being John Malkovich.

In a film stacked with standout performances, it's easy to overlook the comedic genius of Orson Bean. The next time you watch it (do yourself a favor: watch it soon), look out for Mr. Bean's speech that culminates in his declaration that "my spunk is manna from heaven." Oh and then there's the exchange with Cusack where he admits "I piss orange. I have to piss sitting down like a goddamn girlie-girl every fifteen minutes. " Oh and then...

3) "Oh My Gosh" by Basement Jaxx.
Retarded, I can't stop playing this song. Bleeps, bloops, Prince-beats, sexy/sassy Brit-girl vocals, goofball lyrics, hooks that won't quit, that chorus. Let me be Elvis Mitchell for a second: it's like eating Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries whilst watching (insert your favorite Saturday Morning Cartoon Show here).

4) Drudge Headlines.
There was that whole Iraqi Election thing, but 48 hours straight of MEET THE NEW "JANET JACKSON" seemed way more important. (And don't get me started on his Pope Death Watch fixation.)

5) Make it fun!
Wonkette's State of the Union Drinking Game.