In appreciation of James K. Polk.

Dear James K. Polk,

I've always admired the fact that you were the original dark horse candidate, plus that whole manifest destiny bit was pretty rad. But today, JKP, I'd like to thank you--well, you and your fellow Presidential brethren--for allowing me to sit at home, eat waffles, watch garbage on television, and, you know, do whatever else might happen on President's Day.

Thanks again.

Your pal,

Ben