Thursday, February 17, 2005


Oh Wyclef. How far you've fallen.
Remember back in the day when the Fugees ruled? Now Lauryn's all crazy-religioned out and in seclusion. Pras is... what... probably making straight to video movies. And Wyclef... he's killing 'em at pre-Grammy parties. The LA Weekly was there and, lucky us, gives us the scoop.

Anecdote #1: Wyclef won't so much play music, instead he spends much of his time saying shit like this: "Put your hands in the air, put your hands in the air, put your cell phones in the air, I ain’t playing one more goddamn note if I don’t see some fucking cell phones in the air!"
At which point this occurs:
The guy next to me leaned over and whispered, “When did he become a wedding singer?” and somebody else chimed in, “Aerobics instructor’s more like it.”

When did he become an aerobics instructor? Probably around the time he recorded "It Doesn't Matter" with The Rock.

Anecdote #2: Proof that Wyclef is a class act:
Later, there was a version of “Redemption Song” that was so askew even the black folks couldn’t dance to it. Wyclef followed that with much fuss about the audience’s need to remove most of their clothing. When that didn’t work, he just started pulling a seemingly never-ending supply of half-naked women up onstage with him.
There’s been some talk since he left the Fugees about whether or not this dude is wacko. All I’m saying on the subject is that it’s a thin line between insanity and the sort of genius that leads a man to play a 40-minute version of a song composed of four notes repeated over and over, that came to a sudden and dire halt when Wyclef again started screaming, this time at his band:
Stop playing, stop playing, stop your goddamn playing! Some white girl just touched my ass!
After everyone onstage stopped playing and everyone in the audience stopped laughing, Wyclef took the microphone and soberly faced the audience. “I am not Kobe Bryant,” he admonished. He then turned to the offending white girl and said, “I am not Kobe Byrant, but I will fuck the ever-living shit out of you.”

I'm not sure I even know what that means. I just know that the Heineken people (this was a corporate event) must've been thrilled.


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