Friday, December 16, 2005

Fun and games.

  1. Aimee Mann just posted an iTunes-only e.p. of Christmas music. Like Wes Anderson, Charles Schulz, and Wong Kar-wai, Mann embraces the melancholy in the season and the songs are better for it. "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" is the unquestionable high point, with "The Christmas Song" a close second. (The chamberlain outro on "The Christmas Song" is a perfect touch: it flirts with the melody to "Auld Lang Syne" before fading out.)

  2. The Family Stone is a surprisingly enjoyable addition to the Christmas movie canon. I'm not going to go so far as to compare it to Molière--one guess which critic made that comparison--but it's funny, unashamed of its sentimentality, and, above all, aware of the bittersweetness of watching Christmas movies late at night.

  3. A year ago I attended a UCLA event where Christopher Hitchens and Martin Amis gave a joint lecture. (Really it was more of a rambling chat, but that's neither here nor there). At some point during the evening, Amis brought up a drunken party where he, Hitchens, and Salman Rushdie dreamed up a new game. Woody Allen had just give an interview regarding the Soon-Yi scandal and had summed up the brouhaha by saying "The heart wants what it wants." Rushdie chortled at this and said something along the lines of "More like the dick wants what it wants." The three authors then spent the evening replacing the word "heart" with "dick" in famous sayings/titles/phrases. I was reminded of this parlor game yesterday as I was reading/thinking a lot about Match Point and what it reveals about the Woodster's sense of morality. That's a long way of saying: what better way to kill some time on a Friday than with the Heart/Dick game? I'll start, you follow in the comment section. The commenter with the best entry gets... uh, my undying admiration.
    1. My Dick Belongs to Daddy. (Just for Mr. Allen.)
    2. The Dick Is a Lonely Hunter.

17 Comments:

At 10:14 AM, Blogger Tim said...

Music of the Dick. Meryl Streep. Gloria Estefan. Skin flutes.

Untamed Dick, where in Christain Slater receives a baboon dick transplant.

Clara's Dick, where in Whoopi and Doogie really bond.

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger Morgan said...

Bravedick, wherein Mel Gibson's cock is mutilated but he feels no pleasure, only pain. Directed by Bill Condon.

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger Ben said...

How could I forget about my favorite Tom Petty/Stevie Nicks collab "Stop Draggin' My Dick Around"?

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger Jessica said...

Dickbreakers - Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love Hewitt. "A mother and daughter con-artist team are running a scheme with a seemingly foolproof M.O. First Max, the temptress mother who happens to be a master-of-disguise, marries a rich man. Page, her scantily clad daughter, then proceeds to seduce him in order to rake in the ensuing jackpot -- a fat divorce settlement. It's a plan that works every time, until Page develops a crush on a handsome bartender who's been set up as the perfect sucker...." Yeah. It would pretty much be the same movie.

 
At 11:57 AM, Blogger girish said...

Dick Of Darkness:
All The President's Men meets Deliverance.

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Tim said...

For the Yes fans: "Owner of a Lonely Dick"

For Titanic groupies: "My Dick Will Go On"

For Montreal hispters: Feist's "Secret Dick"

 
At 2:54 PM, Blogger Ben said...

For the Stephin Merrit fans: "Epitaph For My Dick" and "I Think I Need a New Dick."

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger girish said...

"I Think I Need a New Dick."
Inspired. Hands-down winner.
Which means Ben will have to award his undying admiration to...himself. :-)

 
At 6:51 PM, Blogger Joshua said...

"Dick of Darkness" made me pee a little.

Captain Beefdick.

"Dick of Glass."

My dog has dickworm.

 
At 7:34 PM, Blogger Ben said...

Dickworms remind me of Louis Malle's Murmur of the Dick.

 
At 8:45 PM, Blogger Joshua said...

Which, in turn, reminds me of Asia Argento's seminal (in every sense of the word) The Dick Is Deceitful Above All Things.

 
At 8:49 PM, Blogger Tim said...

Which reminds me of the always controversial, White Hunter Black Dick.

 
At 10:09 PM, Blogger August. said...

Whenever I was feeling down, I'd just remember John Andrew Holmes, Jr.'s famous quote, "There is no exercise better for the dick than reaching down and lifting people up."

 
At 2:49 PM, Blogger Joshua said...

And who could forget President Bush praising Harriet Miers by saying, "I know her dick."

 
At 11:18 PM, Blogger Tim said...

One more Magnetic Fields reference: "The Cactus Where Your Dick Should Be"

 
At 11:20 PM, Blogger Tim said...

And the Oscar worthy: "Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful dick."

 
At 6:36 PM, Anonymous sacha said...

"Dick of Glass": Blondie's favorite sex toy

"My Dick Will Always Be the B Side to My Tongue": Fall Out Boy's masturbation confession

"Angel Dick": a heavenly f*ck?

 

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